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I just got engaged - where do I start?

First of all, Congratulations!

We're all very excited for you, and we're here to help you . .

My advice on where to start . . . before you get into the excitement of choosing your gown, shoes, accessories etc . . . is to set your Guest List first. Sit down with your families and create your Master Guest List so that you know the size of your wedding. After all, one of the most important parts of your day is who you'll share it with! - and the size of the Guest List determines many other important, foundational things . . . where you'll hold your Ceremony and Reception, the formality of your wedding, your budget, and so forth. Set the foundation to get your wedding date, make all your bookings, and then you can get into the really exciting things like your gown, your flowers, your cake, etc.

It may all seem overwhelming right now, but pace yourself and get these important details set. Remember to have fun with every part of planning your wedding, and look for great books to help you out with organization and ideas.

What is the best way to budget for our wedding?  We are paying for our wedding ourselves and trying to buy a house and we don't have too much to play around with.

Here are some general rules for getting more out of your budget . . .

Plan your wedding for an off-peak time of the year.
February, March, April, August, September, October and November are the most popular, and therefore the most expensive, months for weddings to take place. With supply-and-demand, many of the wedding professionals do charge more during these times of year.

Plan a Friday night wedding.
This is a big trend right now, with couples saving 15% to 20% off the costs of their weddings just by having it on Friday night. Another plus, sometimes you can save on honeymoon travel expenses by flying on the Saturday after your wedding.

Plan a smaller wedding.
I know, that's not a whole lot of fun, but since the reception is the biggest part of most budgets, you'll save a bundle if you keep your guest list down.

Start off your planning process by sitting down as a couple and really planning out exactly what you want for your day.
Too many couples waste money by wandering into a co-ordinator's office or each of their vendors' offices with no clear ideas on what they want. Then, they get talked into purchases that are more than they might like to spend. If you sit down and really sketch out what you want -- and more importantly, what you ‘don't’ want -- you'll be in a better position to plan your wedding on a budget.

Think about hiring a wedding co-ordinator.
It may seem like an extravagance, but so many couples have found this to be well worth the investment and a huge savings of money and hassles overall. A good wedding co-ordinator can help you find great ways to get more from your budget, and you can even hire a co-ordinator to help you just during your search for your wedding professionals or on the day of the wedding only. Research well, ask plenty of questions, and see if the savings will add up well for you.

Have any of these questions ever crossed your mind?
Is this a good vendor and how can I be sure they are charging me appropriately?
What if my flowers don't show up?
What happens if my cake falls or gets knocked over?
How do I know I am planning for the right amount of guests?
What happens during my outside ceremony if it rains, and who takes care of it?
Do I have time to micromanage my own wedding with work, family and friends, while still trying to have some fun with my Fiancé at the same time?
What is the proper etiquette?
Will the ceremony start on time and does everyone know where to be and when?
I have a general idea of what I want to see for my wedding, but I am not sure how to pull it all together.
What now?

If you still are asking yourself, why hire a co-ordinator?
Where do we begin . . . First and foremost, you need to remember you want to be the bride, and not the co-ordinator. And, as much as we like to think our family and friends want to help out, do you really want them to be responsible? They want to enjoy your day too. They want to help you celebrate, not help you direct guests and vendors, make sure the reception and ceremony sites are set up properly, deliver final payments to vendors, make sure everything starts on time, be the troubleshooter for any little thing that may that may come up, and so much more! We hope you decide to hire a co-ordinator, to assist you through the planning and design process, and top it all off that special day with a flow so smooth you won't even know what is going on around you, except what really matters . . . your husband/bride-to-be, family, friends, and having a fun, memorable event!

Why should you choose
We have worked both behind and in front of the house for many wedding receptions and ceremonies. We have the knowledge and the know-how of the event planning industry. This is a huge benefit to any bride. We will help you avoid costly mistakes while saving you time and money, as well as reduce high levels of stress! bend over backwards to see that your day is as perfect as it can be, while making it seem effortless. We think of your day as “our day” too. If you're not happy, we're not happy. Let us show you what we can do for you! Please see the “about us” page on our website for more information.

What is the cost?
Many brides/grooms/mothers/fathers think right away that a wedding coordinator is an unnecessary expense. Compared to what? Your DJ, Ceremony Musicians, your dress, flowers, or transportation? We are the ones who keep it together, all vendors, all guests and all participants. Overall, a wedding co-ordinator is a small percentage of your budget, which is where we usually begin before we offer any plans or suggestions. You will find a consultant's cost is figured many different ways.

like to sit down and talk about what it is you are looking for, what package you may be interested in (see our “packages” page), what your budget would be, how many guests, etc. Once you have your free, one-hour consultation, we would then determine what package would best fit your needs and continue from there. Please call us at (08) 9248 2542 for more details, or to schedule your free consultation.

I would like to have a cocktail/buffet reception. I've never been to one before and am not sure how the seating is done, what questions to ask the reception sites I am visiting, bascially, I don't know where to begin. How long are these types of receptions? I would like to spend about $10-11,000 for approx 130 guests.
If you'd like a cocktail party reception, those can last for as little as two hours to as many as four hours. Most of the cocktail party receptions I've been to lasted about three hours, and that was just long enough. At a cocktail party, the food is set up in buffet form, or at separate serving stations (a setup I prefer, since it prevents long lines and lets guests go to the areas where their preferred choices are).

When you speak to the catering manager, find out the prices for their particular cocktail party packages -- most places offer a plan that allows you six to twelve different food choices, plus various arrangements for beverages, dessert, and other items. Work with the caterer to set up a nice range of dishes - from pastas to salads to seafoods to meat . . . and be sure to provide some meatless dishes for your guests with special dietary needs . . . and also as a 10% to 15% break for your budget. You can also choose to have several appetizers served butler-style with waiters walking around with choices on silver platters. This also saves you money, since caterers know that guests will eat fewer pieces per person than if they could just stand in front of a bowl of prawn cocktail at the buffet table and have a party of their own.

When you talk to the caterer, ask to see his or her list of entree choices so that you can pick out which ones would work best for your budget and the style of your wedding. Ask for suggestions, but plan it out yourselves. Be sure to tell the caterer where the wedding will be held, what style and formality you have in mind, and any special dietary needs of your guests -- such as vegan, vegetarian, no-sugar, lowfat, etc.

As far as seating, it's a very good idea to plan out your seating chart, placing guests in appropriate groups at their own set tables. Some couples do the 'they can just sit anywhere' thing, but then you run into the situation where a couple can't sit with their friends because there's no room, people pull up chairs to jam more people than comfortable at a table, and other problems. Plan it out ahead of time, to avoid such problems.

What are the responsibilities of the Maid-of-Honour?
The Maid of Honour has a variety of roles during the time of her service, and they are specifically determined by what the bride requires of her. Traditionally, the Maid of Honour does the following:

Helps the bride choose her wedding gown
Participates in the selection of bridesmaid gown options
Helps coordinate the bridesmaids' efforts in trying on and purchasing gowns
Might take over the responsibility of co-ordinating the bridesmaids' payment and delivery of their gowns
Helps the bridesmaids co-ordinate their shoe and accessory orders
Helps in any other capacity to outfit the bridesmaids
Helps co-ordinate fittings for the bridesmaids
Hosts or co-hosts the bridal shower, including planning the entire event, coordinating the bridesmaids' helpful efforts and payment, and perhaps selecting and buying the bride's gift from all of the maids.
Records who gave which gift at the bridal shower
Might help create the bride's throw-bouquet at the bridal shower
Helps plan the ‘Hen’s Party’ in tandem with the other maids or bride's friends
Participates in the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
Attends salon appointments, if the bride requests that her maids get their hair, makeup and nails done at a salon
Attends the bridal brunch the morning of the wedding
Helps the bride dress before the wedding
Uses her resourcefulness to replace missing items that morning
Poses for group pictures before the wedding
Attends the wedding and reception
Perhaps proposes a toast to the bride and groom
Keeps the party going with great group dances and tributes

and most importantly . . .

Serves as the bride's right-hand woman throughout the entire wedding planning process, being the person who is completely dependable with what the bride needs done. Also, serves as a sounding board for the bride during the stressful planning months. Very often, the bride may feel pushed and pulled in many different directions as she deals with the emotionally-charged aspects of her wedding, various family members' requests and demands, etc.

The Maid of Honour is then there to help even out her stress levels by getting her away from it all, getting her to laugh, letting her talk it out, or just being there as someone who doesn't want anything from the bride.  The Maid of Honour has an important, never-forgotten role that can seal a relationship with the bride...or break it forever if the role is not taken seriously.

I was wondering if it would be "weird" to have both my father and step-father walk me down the aisle. And if it is ok how would we go about doing it?
It wouldn't be weird at all to have your father and stepfather walk you down the aisle -that's actually becoming more of the norm for brides who have two father figures.

When it comes to how you actually do this, with regard to whose arm you hold and who is next to the hand that holds the bouquet, brides choose from the following arrangements:

You'll hold the arm of your father and your stepfather will walk on your other side, or...
You'll hold the arm of your stepfather if you're closer to him, and your father will walk on your other side, or...
You'll use both hands to hold your bouquet, and your fathers will both escort you with a hand at your elbow, or...
You'll hold your stepfather's arm halfway up the aisle, and then switch to your father's arm for the second half of the trip (or vice versa), or...
You can split the escort by having one father walk you halfway up the aisle and meet the other halfway for him to finish the job (this arrangement is going out of style, though, as it leaves one father kind of 'abandoned' during the trip.)

It's your choice, depending on what you're most comfortable with, how much width you have in your aisle while you're wearing your wedding dress, and which father you're closest to. (I've triple-starred the most popular option above). In your wedding program, it's nice to list the fact that both your father and stepfather are giving you away. The arrangement is 100% up to you, and this is most often worked out at the rehearsal, where you'll all figure out what's most comfortable for you.

We are planning an out of town wedding.  Do we need to send save the date cards?  Are they sent to all those invited to the wedding?
Yes, you're absolutely right about needing to send save-the-date cards for an out-of-town wedding. All of your guests and bridal party members must receive one, just to be on the safe side. The biggest problems in weddings come from the planners making assumptions that others know what's going on, so this is a smart move to keep everyone on the same page. Keep in mind that your guests might have children in school at that time, or work obligations, big exams or conferences to prepare for, or any number of additional issues that will require some advance notification. The expense for this sending is well worth it!!

We want to keep our wedding simple and not make it a big deal.  How do we do that?
The most important rule for keeping your wedding simple is really mapping out what you want within your day before you start making any plans. Things get out of control when you start booking things before you really have a good blueprint, and then once the excitement and the nerves start kicking, plus other people's opinions and wishes, things get out of control very quickly. You can keep things tame by talking with your Fiancé about creating a united front when it comes to ‘your’ wedding plans. The two of you should really write down everything you want and don't want, and then come up with a plan for staying within your own boundaries. Some ideas for wedding simplicity are:

Keeping it small
Staying local
Booking a very cozy, intimate space like a smaller hotel ballroom, a sitting room at a historical home or estate, a winery's small party room -- you get the picture.
Tell all of your wedding vendors that you want to stay within simplicity, and they should comply.
Be assertive. If a wedding pro is pitching you an idea that doesn't sit within your original plans, politely decline
Do a lot of research on what's available in the simplicity department -- check web sites, read magazines, even visit craft stores to see what you can do yourself.

This free information is brought to you by
" Exquisite Wedding Co-ordinators"
If you would like help with some or all of your wedding plans please feel free to contact us on (08) 9248 2542 or 0412 031 431 or email us.